to think i treated him so well.. as least as compared to all the others i had..
if i had been more stupid, i'ld still be kept in the dark now. so silly. telling lies must be one of his habit. i thought he had been very busy with his work. having hours long of meetings. so i nv really complained much and nv wanted to disturb him when his at work. during weekdays, i'm like any other 'single' girls, go to work, go for dinner or shopping, then take the regular busy train and take the 15 mins walk home.. i was still msning ah pong.. he asked me where was he? i said, in a meeting.. pong asked me to call him but i didnt want to disturb him. wasnt necessary anyway. till ytd when i went to his place. i asked him plainly, "can i see your sent smses?" and well, from his look i can tell that he was pretty reluctant when he said ok. so i didnt.. till he went to bath. prob because he lied to me before so i was curious about his sent sms. i know i shouldnt look at them but i thought, 'not much harm'. but i know i shouldn't. and.. i saw sth unexpected. it should be one of the sms sent to soke kim or lijuan that said "im having dinner with carol at grapevine now.. " and the next one, "come lah.. have lots of food for you" .... i looked at the msg details. it was sent on 26/2, evening.. that was when I was on my way home or msning pong. Such a disappointment. I was really pissed. what kind of nonsense is this?! he said he was at a meeting but in fact, enjoying good food with his friends? wtf.... what the fuck. to think i trusted him so much. i really felt like im an idiot. a fool. a puppet of his. he took me and my trust for granted. he should really nv have a gf. never. i really hated him at that instant. on the other side, he showed me what kind of person he is and what kind of pple can exist in this world. i was really really disappointed. and sometimes, i wonder why my close friends ard me like juan and soke kim can help him to hide things from me. oh man... wtf. maybe it wasnt intentional on their part. but i really felt like i'm one of those girls whom my guy friends always lied to. they always tell their gf that they're at home slping or whatever but in fact they're out having fun.. n whenever i know about their lies, i always tell them not to be so bad to the gf and why must they lie to their gf.. now i become one of those 'kept-in-the-dark' gf.. deceived by my bf and with no clue till i saw the sent msgs.. i did not regret and i really thank myself that i looked at his sent sms. if not i would still be an idiot now.
I asked him why must he lie to me n why cant he tell me the truth. he said that he's afraid that i might be angry. haa. it always the same excuse. let me telll you that i am sick of this excuse. it will not save you for the burning fire. n i really hate you for lying to me.
