sometimes i really think that people treat like as though i'm an idiot.. that includes my friends and my boyfriend. sometimes i really know what is happening. but i'm best at acting blur. and more imptly, i wont accuse anyone and i wont tell anybody that i know of something, unless i'm really sure that what i know of, is absolutely right. that means, no flaws in my statement.

i saw my bf's phone log, i know i shouldnt, but i dont really trust him. so anyway, i saw his log. i chanced upon a name, a v familiar one, as i scroll. but i dont recall him knowing this "someone". n even though i know her, i dont have her number. i didnt want to accuse him because i'm not sure if it is her, or somebody else, so i didnt bring it up to him at that point in time. i wasnt sure if they're the same person. i took down the number. and 3 weeks later, i finally know that it's the same person, same mobile no. I asked him if he knew her. he didnt reply to my question directly and kept asking why. then he finally said he dunno her. how should i believe him?? tell me how. it's the same number, same name, and he said he dunno her. haa. when he actually did smsed her. seriously, wtf. he refused to admit after i told him about it. still say he has a record of a slightly different name. excuse me, were my eyes playing tricks on me then? saw a wrong name and a wrong number? how to believe him??? so we got into a quarrel. he told me all my bad and insist that it wasnt that person. he denied. and i think he was trying to make me feel bad about myself and "pushed" the blame to me. haiz... m i supposed to force myself to believe him?? honestly, till now, i dont believe him a single shit. i still trust what i saw. but what i don't understand is, why even till now, that i've told him all that i saw, he can still deny and refuse to admit that both of them are the same person. haiz... you ask me why dont i break up with him? but i don't want to break up with him if i really did mistaken him. 99% of me tells me that i should believe what i saw. i saw it with my own eyes. i doubt we will last long. i know he has many other problems as well arising from his work. so 1% of me tells me that i should keep quiet and let this thing pass first. give him time to cool down. but even if we continue to be together, i wont trust him and i really wont care about what he does in future. i will not be the good girl anymore. i dont want to feel like a second fool.

i am really not stupid. i do my homework well before i dare say anything. like what yh said, it's just like when the police show the criminal, this is the evidence, and the criminal still say,"i didnt do it". then what happens next? Is the criminal guilty or not?